Month of May.Absolute humidity. Not inconceivable in my land. Toddlers and teens equally making merry in the sun. I see a group of ‘em with a piece of stick in one hand and yes, the red round thingie. Gliding past them, I walk into the place that i perceive to be the heaven on earth, my ‘tharavaadu’ (ancestral house). I remember it to be this bustling place, everyone busy with all kinds of activities and so full of life. All throughout the year, I kept waiting so anxiously for the hols, when Achan (dad) would take us there. I don’t know if Nikki was as pumped up as me, but it’s impossible anyone could turn away from an ice-cream. Come hols and I sure went over the cloud. Vacation meant masti-time for all we cousins. It was that time of the year when we kids got together and had all the fun we could. My best buddy those days, my cousin, Madhavan, and I were partners in all crimes and we did pledge to support no noble cause! ‘Siamese twins’, that’s how we were referred to within the group, for the occasions were few when when we could be spotted separate.
Getting up at 6 was a daunting task when having to get ready for school but once here, getting up without Amma (mom) having to shout “Naveee” a zillion times was no big deal.And how could I afford wasting my time hugging on to the pillow, when there was so much to do and so less time! Breakfast-Cricket-Lunch-Cricket-Dinner - that was the POA (plan-of-action) on a normal day. I still cherish those wonderful memories atop our special ‘maavu’ (mango tree). It was all together a different feeling climbing as high as we could and ‘chumma’ idle away time, yapping on and on. I still miss Rajamama’s ice-cream treats on catch for the winning team, but somehow at the end of the day, every kid was seen feasting on cassatas. I must say, we play fair!
Those days, life was all about arbitly roaming around the fields, visiting every single relative, chasing dogs around and in turn getting chased by the pack(!), pleading Achamma (grandma) to let us swim in the pond every other day, chumma idling away time siting at the porch and listening to Achamma’s stories and the more vivid ways of unrestrained merry-making. Life was at peace with itself and I am sure ‘uparwallah’ ws indeed jealous this blissful state of existence.
And He did get back at us, in his very own funny mean way. That one blow struck was more than adequate to disrupt the entire syste, to unleash havoc, to wreck that golden band of peaceful existence. That one accident changed all our lives for ever. Life was never the same anymore. I still remember the first hols since the disaster. I come scuttling into tharavaadu, only to be shocked at the absence of Achamma waiting for me at the door. I walk into a hall of terrible silence and absolute dismay. There was no playful Achu, no loud music, no singing Nithya chechi, not even the ‘model’; there was no one… Achamma tells me nobody’s got time. I still sit at the porch the entire day, waiting for my lot to come. 2 days, 4 and a week went by, but there came none. I try hard to come to terms with this ‘transformed’ way of life. Waking up in itself became a nightmare. I walk to our maavu, the lone one to have stayed back to give me company. I see, she is equally depressed at the state of affairs . In search of solace, i climb into her arms. As I hug her tight, tears roll down my cheek.
That was the time my affair with her took away most of my time. I started to love those long hours spent gazing at the sky and it’s in this period that I found a new friend. It mite sound lunatic, but yes, I started to love talking to the clouds. I was the ‘talkative’ one in the family and only Neelu could pose some threat to me in this department. I would talk about anything and everything to him and pleasantly, he was always there for me. He tried his best to raise my spirits and to amuse me with his all-new-look-a-day, and must say he did succeed in his attempt to spray some life into the withering soul.
To this day, I keep wondering why life had to take such a dramatic turn and why, but why we had to be guinea pigs for His amusement. As I bid goodbye to Achamma, leaving for home after the hols, I myself was not sure when I was going to be back at tharavadu. Life did pose a lot of questions at me at this juncture of my life and they stay unanswered to this day.
Nobody any longer stays at tharavaadu. Waking up from the induced nostalgia, as I slowly glide past the gate, I see the pond all dried up, withered leaves lying scattered all around the house and the heaven abode giving any passer-by that haunted look. It pains and suddenly it all starts feeling very heavy from within. I slowly walk to the lone friend, who had the heart to stay in those difficult times. I see her smiling at her old friend and I run into her open arms. A smile touches my lips as I see her blooming, my gaze falls on her offspring. The world suddenly felt more bright. Subsistence is not merely about pushing yourself across the day. Hold onto everything you believe in. You don’t give up on the ones you love, come what may. I wake up from my slumber to realize, there is joy in every single moment. I feel the rejuvenated soul in me. And, as I slowly walked away, I had made up my mind. I for sure am coming back and next time, there’s going to everyone. The good old days are bound to return, and hey guys, I miss you all……
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